Evaluating My Communication Styles

Communication Anxiety, Verbal Aggressiveness, Listening Styles

     This week I and two people I chose took several tests to evaluate how I communicate. I chose to be evaluated by my daughter and one of my closest friends. I chose my daughter because she and I interact on a daily basis and she is somewhat sensitive so I was curious what her responses would be, especially in the Verbal Aggressiveness Scale. I chose my friend because she knows me very well and is willing to be honest in her evaluation.

     I was surprised to see the range of Communication Anxiety Inventory and that my friend’s score. She has seen me speak publicly on many occasions and even though I am very nervous and prefer not to speak, I have been told that no one can tell I am nervous.

    I learned that even though I that feel a bit uneasy in some communication situations and somewhat more confident in other contexts, I feel comfortable communicating in most situations and feel confident anticipating such encounters. 
     With regard to verbal aggressiveness I have a good balance between respect and consideration for others’ viewpoints, and the ability to argue fairly by attacking the facts of a position rather than the person holding that position. 
     Last, the Listening Styles profile was a little ambiguous but I feel I fall between group 2 and 3 respectively which are action and content oriented meaning I am business-like, prefer clear to the point communication that outlines a plan of action, and although my efficiency is respected but may intimidate more sensitive listeners. Also, I focus on detail and prefer to have all information before making a decision and will likely succeed  in classroom settings but struggle in more fast paced environments.

     I feel this is a fair assessment and it indicates that even though I am a good communicator I still need to improve on various communication skills that may impact my professional work and personal life.

Category	Dianna	Cookie	Dijone
*CAI (Communication Anxiety Inventory)	50	29	63
*LSP (Listening Styles Profile)	41	26	30
*VAS (Verbal Aggressiveness Scale)	63	62	53

*VAS-(53, 62, 63)

Moderate: You maintain a good balance between respect and consideration for others’ viewpoints, and the ability to argue fairly by attacking the facts of a position rather than the person holding that position.

*CAI-(29, 50, 43)

Low: You reported that you feel comfortable communicating in most situations and feel confident anticipating such encounters.

Mild: You reported that feel a bit uneasy in some communication situations and somewhat more confident in other contexts. Communication does not seem to be something you worry a great deal about.

Elevated: This range of scores indicates you feel uncomfortable in several communication contexts.

*LSP- Group 2 ( Action-Oriented), Group 3 (Content-Oriented)

Group 2- Business-like, prefer clear to the point communication that outlines a plan of action. Your efficiency is respected but may intimidate more sensitive listeners.

Group 3-You focus on detail and prefer to have all information before making a decision. You likely succeed  in classroom settings but struggle in more fast paced environments.

Competent communication is effective and appropriate for a given situation in which I, as a communicator will evaluate and reassess my own communication process and adjust my behavior to suit individuals and situations. I feel if I am to be a competent communicator, I must be able to do so with people from different groups and cultures. Some of the strategies I could use to help me communicate more effectively include the following:

·       Try to look at things from others eyes

·       Withhold judgment in order to gain a deeper understanding

·       Accept/embraces differences

·       Don’t assume that helping children will cripple their independence

·       Become consciously aware of nonverbal behaviors

·       Recognize your own patterns of nonverbal behaviors

·       Be sensitive

·       Don’t think that because you know a person’s culture you can predict their behavior

References

Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2010). 50 strategies for communicating and working with diverse families. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc."Understanding and Appreciating Cultural Differences" (pp. 36–38)"Looking at Nonverbal Communication Across Cultures" (pp. 80–81)

O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J.  (2015). Real communication (3rd. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Chapter 1, Communication: Essential Human Behavior

Nonverbal Communication-It Matters

                                               

I watched an episode of “Reba” first muted and then with the sound on. I was not sure what the relationship of the characters were with regards to being family but I know they were related or very good friends because they were in each other’s homes and people were walking in without knocking. A woman came in obviously upset based on her facial expressions and actions, and as I watched learned that it was because she thought she scratched her son’s new car that he cherished. Reba, along with the other ladies was trying to hide it but he found out and was very upset.

Based on the communication I observed when I watched with the sound on, I was correct in my assumptions about the car being scratched but it turned out to be Reba who did it although his mother and his wife also thought they scratched it.

My assumptions about the relationships would have been more correct because I would know the characters and their relationships with each other.
Nonverbal communication is, in my opinion, as important as verbal communication because you can’t have one without the other. Many times the nonverbal behaviors are more believable than verbal especially when channel discrepancy is evident.

My Competent Communicator

Competent communication must be effective and appropriate and as such communicators must adjust their behavior to suit particular individuals and situations (O'Hair eta al, 2015) person who demonstrated that for me was my father, Rev. Earl Nobles. He was an educated, highly intelligent (he was a rocket scientist), articulate, and most importantly a Pastor.  All of those attributes didn’t make him a competent communicator, it was the fact that he knew how to treat people and interact with them. He was a great listener and I feel that is one of the most important characteristics of effective communication. His disposition was calm, inviting, and comforting that drew and welcomed anyone who spoke to him. He had a wonderful sense of quirky humor and that along with all of his other attributes are what I have tried to model for years. Why? My dad, in my opinion, was one of the greatest people that walked the face of the earth, not perfect, but a wonderful person, husband, father, friend, confidant, and grandfather, just to name a few and I can only wish to walk in his shadow and hope to catch the rays of the sun that shined so brightly on his life.

Reference

O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J.  (2015). Real communication (3rd. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.Chapter 1, "Communication: Essential Human Behavior" (pp. 3-26)

PROFESSIONAL HOPES AND GOALS

One hope that you have when you think about working with children and families who come from diverse backgrounds (any format and any length)

I hope that I can make a positive difference in all the lives of the children and families I work with.

One goal you would like to set for the early childhood field related to issues of diversity, equity, and social justice (any format and any length)

The goal I would like to set is to stand up to the inequities and injustices I see.

A brief note of thanks to your colleagues

Colleagues,

It has once again been a pleasure to collaborate, share, and learn from you.  I look forward to seeing your names in the next course.

Dr. H

This has been one of my favorite and enriching courses thus far. Thank you for your encouragement and support.

WELCOMING FAMILIES AROUND THE WORLD

I have chosen a family from Paraguay and will list 5 ways I will be culturally responsive towards this family and how it will be a benefit not only the family, but the child as well.

• Ways in which I will be culturally responsive towards this family

1.     Learn how much English they know. If very little learn some basic phrases to help them feel more comfortable communicating with me.  I have learned that when I speak, even just to say hello and how are you doing in a family’s native language, they are very appreciative and responsive. 

2.     Find out about the family culture such as the roles of the parents, family structure, who is the primary care taker of the children, socioeconomic status etc. This will enable me to make sure I am inclusive and sensitive with regards to the activities I plan for the children and their families.

3.     Prepare correspondences such as the parent survey to get in depth information about the child and family beliefs and routines in their native language, and let them know it is fine to respond in their native language.

4.    Self reflection and examination is also advisable to make sure any and all biases are eliminated prior to interacting with the family. Also, be cognizant of any microaggressions that may results because of their presence and be prepared to stand up and address them.

5.     Make sure I have books, toys, pictures, posters, etc. that reflect each child’s culture conspicuous in my classroom or work space.

• I hope that these preparations will benefit the family, myself, and the child because I have taken the time to learn about the family, their culture, familiarize myself with some basic language, translate correspondence, and provide an inclusive, culture rich environment. My goal is to empower the family so that they will feel welcome to offer input and so that the child can feel a sense of belonging.  In order for a child to develop and excel academically, socially, and emotionally, they will need positive input from everyone who interacts with them and each other.

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice and Oppresion

When my son was very young, around the age of 3, we transitioned him to the autistic preschool program at our zoned elementary school. The first thing I noticed was that all the self-contained classrooms were located in the very back corner of the school furthest away from the cafeteria, media center, bus loop and car rider area.

 My initial thoughts were how inconvenient this was for these students and their parents because, like my son, some of them were orthopedically impaired, wore braces, and that was a long walk for them to get anywhere. I felt the reason they were back there was to keep them hidden and separated and this, in my opinion was unfair and definitely diminished equity because the principal was not sensitive about the needs of these children. Therefore, as usual, I went to battle for my son and confronted the principal about my (our) concerns.  He conceded in letting the parents drop their children off at the back of school where the classrooms were located and agreed to consider relocating the classrooms the next school year to accommodate their needs.

I believe not only does the victim need to change and/or speak up about the injustice, but the offender must be willing to be open minded and really willing to listen to the concerns of those they have offended and attempt to put themselves in their shoes to truly understand other’s point of view in order to turn these types of incidents into opportunities for greater equity. Furthermore, in my experience, I have learned one will need to be ready to fight for that equity because often times I had to go to the next level i.e. a person’s boss, or that bosses boss in order to get what I needed. I have truly become the squeaky wheel advocate for my son in order to make sure he is treated equitable, especially within the school system.