My Supports

I have many supporting factors that I rely on daily but none as important as my 

"To Do" List. 

My mornings begin EVERYDAY like this: a cup of coffee, my phone, my "To Do" list, and my cats.  These accompany me to my favorite spot on my favorite couch in my favorite room, except my "To do" list pad, which is always there, on the end table with a pen. And thus begins my day with devotion and then the stroke of the pen.  As I sit, look out the window, pet my cats (who sits on me and on the arm of the couch), I think of all the things I need to do that day and write them down.  They include everything; calls, emails, chores, yard work, shopping, appointments of all kinds, and anything else I can think of. From there my other lists are created; grocery and shopping lists, appointment times, phone numbers and email addresses, lists of stores or places I need to go.  This simple "To Do" list guides my day because I am able to predict how long it will take me to complete my tasks, approximately how much money I will spend, and most important, if I will be able to complete everything and if not prioritize what will get moved to the next day. 

This particular support is probably most important to me because I have a horrible memory and I hate disorganization.  This list keeps my focused on exactly what needs to be done and without it, I will flounder.  If I leave my grocery list at home, I cannot remember everything I need to buy and get home frustrated.  Therefore, if I forget my list, I will go back home and get it rather than wing it without it.  Also, my lists allow me to recruit the help I need such as assigning cleaning tasks to my children, who are my supporters, letting my husband know how much money I will need, who is also a major supporter, or calling my gardener, etc. 

And needless to say I have my emotional supports that include my husband, mother, sisters, friends and my BGR family who I rely on each day to some capacity.  

My Challenge-True Story

When my youngest son was born 16 weeks early weighing 26oz, he was in NICU for 11 weeks.  Because my husband travels on his job, I was left to care for 3 small children and visit my son every day, twice a day in the hospital once he returned to work. I relied on my mother A LOT to care for my youngest daughter, who was 2 years old at the time, while I visited my son, spent hours pumping breast milk to leave for him, making sure all my domestic responsibilities were done; dinner, laundry, cleaning, shopping, etc. while my other two children were in school.  Once they were home, I had to feed them, give baths, help with homework (if any), spent time interacting, get them ready for bed and prepare for the next day.  Much of this I did without any support in the evenings.  I felt bad using my mother because she helped during the day, my in laws lived out of town, and my siblings and friends had lives and children of their own.  It became even more difficult once my son came home from the hospital. Although my husband was there for a short time, he had to return to work and I was left this time with 3 small children and a preemie that came home with an Apnea monitor and oxygen tanks and maker. I had oxygen lines running all over my house and the rule was "NO RUNNING IN THE HOUSE!"  My kids used to say that all the time! We didn't want them tripping over the lines and accidentally snatching the oxygen out of their brother's nose. Simple things like going to the store for a loaf bread or dropping my kids off at school became major physical tasks for me.  I not only had to pack kids in car and booster seats, I had to carry the regular diaper bag, carry an oxygen tank on my back, and a separate bag for the Apnea monitor.  Then I had to unpack everyone out of the car and into the shopping cart just to get a loaf of bread or do all that just to drop my kids off and pick them up every day from school. It was very hard to get help and even though we tried to hire people, they were most times not a good fit and we were especially particular with my son, so I did most things myself until my husband came home. Over the years, my son has needed therapies 2 to 3 times a week along with various specialists, etc. but as time went on, things became easier and easier.  The biggest support I had at that time was the monetary support my husband provided and my ability to be a stay at home mom.  If I had to work and do all those things, I honestly don't know what I would have done. I am grateful for all of the monetary, emotional, and physical support, and I am especially grateful for my 
"To Do" List!!